The following are some of the basic discipline philosophies that are usually introduced to a child from a very young age:

The Basics

Good discipline is not about working out punishments, as this does not really teach the child about the actual negativity of the act that required some discipline attention. Instead it really teaches the child that the stronger component in the equation usually get to dictate and cause the weaker one to simply follow along. Good discipline measures are meant to teach a child right from wrong and not simple address the wrong.

Making the child understand self-control and socially acceptable behavior is one way of encouraging the method of good discipline. The parent will show agreement of good behavior with praising and encouragement and will usually address bad behavior with the opportunity to discipline using respect, patience and good problem solving skill as opposed to simply working out punishment. Good discipline is not about going through the process of a power struggle.

When a child is much younger it may seem acceptable to use this kind of discipline but as the child grows older it would definitely be much more difficult to use this style as the older child will more likely retaliate, thus making the already difficult situation worse. Good discipline does not mean making the child feel insulted or suing demeaning elements to cause hurt. Using styles such as yelling and name calling will not help the child in any positive way.

Consider where your child struggles

Every child has problems in certain areas in their lives which may cause some disciplinary requirement in order for these problems not to escalate out of control. However it is not always easy to understand the child’s position and problem and working out some form of discipline without a thorough understanding will only make matters worse.

Where help is needed

Often children will emulate what they have observe from those closest to them, thus most of the struggles a child experiences will eventually be solved the way they see the parents or adults around the do so. Therefore in the quest to try and help the child through the problems and the methods used for suitable solutions, every consideration should be given to understating why the child has a problem in a particular area to being with. The following are some of the ways that can be adopted when working out discipline while still being very aware of the areas the child struggles in:

Decide how to handle the situation without further adding to the problem. Take step that would reinforce discipline but at the same time the method used should also allow the child to understand and accept, things are being done, taking their best interest to heart. Using firmness but salting it with kindness will go a long way in assuring the child that the parent understands the struggle, but does not condone the behavior being shown on the part of the child.

Nurturing through disciple may seem like a strange concept to follow but will be effective in the long run as it does not aim to bring done the child natural spirit and zest for life. Having family meeting to address the problem will also help to show the child that his or her feelings and struggles are being considered and are important to all. This will help the child accept the discipline measures with less chances of rebellion.

Use age appropriate consequences

In order to discipline a child properly, there should ideally be some thought given to how the parent should go about the action and what type of action should be considered. Simply working out punishment for the sake of disciplining a child will not be productive at all and may sometimes even have a destructive result.

The right discipline

The following are some guidelines that can help to make the choice of discipline measure more appropriate to both the child’s age and to address the act that required the discipline is a suitably corresponding and appropriate manner: The parent should consider the development stage the child is going through.

This should be on an individual basis as this may differ greatly even in the same age group. Reading books and other material on this may be helpful in steering the parent in the right direction. Start building a good foundation for behavioral patterns. Ensure the child understands from a very early age what is acceptable and what not acceptable behavior is.

Dealing with this before there is actually a need to address any inappropriate behavior by working out disciplinary action will be better for the child as the child will not be confused by the sudden onslaught of the negative reaction from the parent. Understanding the brain development in general is also important as it important that child be able to comprehend the disciplinary action taken and not perceive it as usually cruel and uncalled for.

The parent should be able to understand that at certain ages the child will react to things in a certain manner that is out of their own comprehension, thus the need to understand the brain development processes before actually working out punishment. Obeying something that they can really comprehend will be difficult for the child.

Be clear about expectations and consequences

The first thing a parent should understand is that children are not born instantly knowing all rules and regulations in life. This they will learn mostly through trial and error and it is the duty of the parent to teach these, in the best way possible preferably without causing any damage to the child mentally or physically.

The following are some guidelines that can help the parent understand how to ensure the child is clear about the expectations and consequences before there is a need for discipline: Both parties should be able to understand and accept that the discipline worked out is not meant to solely represent punishment but is to help the child curb the need to act in a particular way in the future.

This will help the child understand that the punishment or discipline measure taken is not meant to hurt or harm neither is it all about the power. The idea behind the action taken should clearly show the child the expectations and consequences that are directly related to a particular act only and nothing else.

Excerpted from the book Discipline Dynamics.

This excerpt has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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