You may or may not know what went wrong that led to the breakup with your ex. You would consider avoiding the same mistakes to ensure it does not happen again. When you are ready to move on with a new relationship, you would most probably hope this relationship works right. Get all the info you need here.

Be in the right relationship

Do not make assumptions. Do not always assume you already know what will happen next. You think you know what you really want, or what your partner need the most. You think you know your partner well. You assume you know what to do next, and how your partner will react.

What if, you do not actually know it well, which causes all subsequent misunderstandings? Show love to your partner. Care for your partner at all times. Participate in your partner’s life events, activities, etc. Stay connected with your partner. Give a call or send love messages to your partner at work. Occasionally, you should also give surprises to amuse your partner.

Stay positive. To be in a right relationship, avoid engaging in negative emotions. Do not allow negative feelings to take place, and do not think of the worst for the current situation both of you are facing. Try to be calm to overcome the stress faced in daily routines. Keep an open heart. After a breakup, you would probably feel hurt and no matter how you are trying to hide it away, it remains deep in your heart.

For a new relationship, avoid any reference to the previous one. Do not let the previous relationship haunt you and your new partner. Besides, do not fear falling love again. Keeping an open heart will let you see clearly whether you are staying in a right relationship or the wrong one.

Having a common purpose

Having a common purpose for the relationship or in life is a great way to maintain the right relationship. Knowing the common purpose that both he /her share will help to make sure if this is the right relationship. Therefore, one should consider the common purpose that both of them share before getting into a relationship.

Importance of having a common purpose

You know what your relationship will lead to. By having a common purpose, you will know your directions in the relationship or in life. It is better that both partners are ready for a marriage, rather than only one is being passionate. You can communicate with each other effectively. You know what your partner asks for, you know his/her needs, and perhaps, you can figure out how he/she thinks.

With a common purpose, you will also be able to participate with your partner’s daily routines. This lessens misunderstandings and suspicious towards each other. It is easier to express feelings to each other. You will understand his/her conditions well, what he/she is facing and going through currently.

Thus, he/she will have trust in you and express their emotions and thoughts to you because you understand and care. You will also feel better and let down your guard to tell him/her your feelings when you are certain that he/her understands your situations. You are able to work towards solutions together.

If either partners have different thoughts about the relationship or everything they are going through, it will be hard to get things right. With a common purpose, you will know how to react to a problem faced and solve it. You will also be able to respect your partner’s way of fixing issues, as you know both of you have a common thinking.

Some relationships are temporary

Whether you are a high school student or an adult trying to find a new love and new life, you would want to have a good relationship, which is better than your previous one. Relationships are not all perfect where “’til death do us apart” occurs in reality; you must understand there are some relationships that are destined to be only temporary. Make sure you know what to do to maintain a long-term relationship.

How to maintain a long-term relationship

Think long term. Being in a relationship does not only involve you and your partner, but both your families and friends. Hence, you must also maintain a good relationship with people close to your partner, understand and know how to treat them well. This will prevent conflicts from happening if you and your partner are facing difficulties.

Forgive and forget. Forgive is the greatest love act of all. Try to forgive your partner for all the wrong doings he had done. Try to forget bad things happened yesterday or before and look forward for a better today or tomorrow. Also, do not blame your partner for everything. Provide mutual support. Everyone needs support from his/her partner especially when staying in a relationship, whether it is physically, financially, emotionally or spiritually.

Give trust and gain trust from your partner is essential to avoid having only a temporary relationship. Always listen to him/her and understands your partner’s needs. Find a quick and effective resolution. Find an immediate way to fix issues and solve conflicts between you and your partner.

It is advisable to solve today’s problems before going to sleep. Share your thoughts. If possible, discuss the matter and allow your partner to participate in solving the problems together. Also, be mature in handling the matter and think rationally before you act.

Always listen to your gut – when felt something is wrong

Listening to your gut or trusting your instincts always present the most truths about you and your partner. Listening to your gut is being honest with yourself. Especially when you fell something going wrong, your instincts tells you what to do and how to resolve the matter in the most natural way. Over thinking sometimes may show doubts in your statements or your actions, which leads to suspicions, distrust, and misunderstandings.

Always Listen

Do not deny your feelings. Preferring to solve problems in a particular way, may be because of the gut feeling. You find it suspicious that your partner comes home late every night, and so think that he/she might be cheating on you.

Asking if you really want to get the answers to such a question and trusting the answers requires gut feeling. After some time if you are trying to hide the matter, you may find yourself doubting your partner and misunderstandings occur. Therefore, go with your gut to prevent all mishaps.

Avoid over thinking. Do not think too much or analyse too much when you feel something is wrong. Over thinking may draw away your attention on the positive feelings, generating more negative feelings and emotions. Because of this, you may have to undergo unnecessary stress and this ruins your relationship.

Excerpted from the book After Breakup.

This excerpt has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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https://boostlane.com/p/boostlane/790/after-breakup/