What happens when People are overly critical?

People who are too critical of their children face an increased risk for depression and anxiety in life, which can also impact other relationships they have in the future.

Signs of an Overly-Critical People

All of us know that overbearing People are less than relatable. The problem is deciding if your People is giving constructive feedback or criticizing just because he or she can. Here’s how to tell.

 People who are overly-critical have mood swings

First, if you have an overly-critical person you’d almost always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. The fear that you might have said something offensive would be palpable. You’d be walking on eggshells all the time; emotional intimidation is abusive behavior.

People who are overly-critical seldom, if ever, have anything positive to say about their children. If you have such People, you’d feel like nothing you say or do are ever good enough. Critical People are not confident in their children’s abilities. As a result, these children often develop self-esteem issues and suffer from a lack of self-confidence later on.

 Such People mock

These People will criticize your looks, and your failures (these would be mountainous). They might mock you and deliberately raise issues that make you uncomfortable. Needless to say that such an attitude is a recipe for severe self-esteem issues in children.

Any choice of yours gets criticized. Whether it’s the people you hang out with, the clothes you wear, or the college course you pick. Your overly critical People will always find a reason why your decisions are wrong. But the worst part is that they will mock you for those. Even when you are an adult, your overly critical People will continue to judge every decision of yours and make belittling comments.

 These People are dismissive

Harshly critical People are almost always dismissive of their children’s feelings. They are disrespectful and don’t treat their kids with kindness.

An example of such behavior is telling their kids that they are too sensitive to a person’s remarks when these are hurtful. They chide their children for trying to get attention instead of offering comfort.

A child of overly critical People may often be wronged and blamed, which can lead to severe guilt issues later in life. For example, imagine that you are an older child and were left alone at home with your little brother. While playing, he broke a vase in the living room. When your critical mother comes home, she will blame and punish you for not watching over your brother.

 Controlling

Abusively-critical People need to feel in control all the time. They want to have the upper hand. They take you on guilt trips with their criticisms and make you feel less than worthy.

For example, a critical People may blame the child for their own failures in life. That is;

“If it was not your college I needed to pay for, I could afford a better house”

“Because of you, I gave up on my dreams”

As you can imagine, remarks like this create unreasonable guilt and insecurities.

Since your People are overly critical, they don’t believe that you are capable of making good decisions on your own. Hence the need to control your every move.

 Critical People are passive-aggressive

Such Peoples are often aggressive or passive-aggressive. They’ll expect you to second-guess their intentions correctly. If your People are outwardly pleasant but verbally harsh behind closed doors, it is a sign of emotional abuse. This behavior is common among narcissists and people with other personality disorders.

Alternatively, your critical People may be emotionally unavailable as well and passive aggression is the only way they can handle conflict.

Do they give you the silent treatment whenever a disagreement arises?

Do they deliberately ignore you and refuse to talk to you for days?

Chances are, you have passive-aggressive People in your life.

 Critical People can be overly dramatic

Peoples who have overly-critical personality traits seldom react to their children calmly. Instead, it’s with the expectation that they’ll do something they shouldn’t. These overly-dramatic reactions can lead to heightened levels of cortisol and related health problems.

Does your critical People make a mountain out of a molehill?

Do they dwell on problems and negativity, blaming you for the tiniest mistake?

Do they create drama out of nothing and exaggerate their hurt feelings?

Chances are, you were raised by overly critical and dramatic People who have psychological issues of their own.

 Toxic People are emotionally absent

Are your People good at providing but difficult to approach if you have problems?

Are you afraid that they’d criticize you for mishandling your issues?

If the answers to these questions are yes, you probably have hyper-critical People. You will never get warmth, understanding, and approval from a critical People. They will be cold and distant as if they don’t care about you at all. Well, in some families, unfortunately, this is the case.

Some other overly critical People though have emotional issues of their own, which inevitably affects their behavior towards their children. But deep inside, these emotionally unavailable People still love and care about them. In any case, when you are an adult child of critical People, you will probably have a purely formal relationship with them. You will not confide anything personal to them as you know that anything you say will be faced with criticisms and misunderstanding.

 Your People are over-involved

All children want their People to be present in their lives, but in a positive, balanced way.

Hyper-critical People are too involved in their kids’ lives because they feel that their kids are incapable of making appropriate decisions. Thus, they have the need to constantly control them. They genuinely believe that they know better what is right for their children, even if they are already adults.

This can be seen in things done every day, such as watching over your shoulder when you are cooking a meal. But it can also extend to big decisions, such as your career or relationship choices, when your critical mom or dad knows better who you should marry or what job is right for you.

 Your People have no boundaries

Hyper-critical People have few boundaries when making unkind remarks. Put differently, they lack tact and will comment on anything and everything. You’ll find them commenting on everything in someone’s home.

They’d make suggestions about everything, saying, “You should add this,” “You should put this here,” or “You should decorate the hall this way.” The word “should” almost always appears in their statements.

Overly critical People don’t respect your privacy either. They may enter your room without knocking or rummage through your personal stuff. It’s not uncommon for such People to read your messages or personal diary and check your social media accounts.

 You blame yourself for the awful behavior of others

Also, you would think that people misbehave because of your actions. You’d think that your People mistreat you because it’s challenging to put up with you. And these dynamics transfer into other relationships.

It is sad that overly critical People ruin their children’s psyche with the behaviors we discussed above. But when you are constantly mocked and criticized as a child, having guilt and self-esteem issues is inevitable as an adult.

As a result of such a toxic and unjustified attitude from your People, you learn that everything is your fault. For example, if your partner gets abusive, it’s because you did something wrong. You always blame yourself for everything.

 You are also self-destructive

The negative feelings that come up because of your Peoples’ critical feedback may make you lean towards self-destructive behavior. You may not have the coping skills to handle their extreme negativity.

This is another unfortunate consequence of insubstantial and harsh criticisms you faced as a child. Your critical People never made you feel good about yourself and know your worth. So as an adult, you may be feeling worthless and punish yourself for being such a failure. Needless to say, that these toxic thought patterns can lead to mental disorders such as anxiety and depression.