Being gregarious and is one way on ensuring one’s presence is felt. Most people are happy being around a gregarious personality and this helps the individual to be noticed and hopefully respected to a certain degree. Smiling a lot also helps, as this creates a persona that is open and friendly. People are more like to approach and befriend a person with a smiling disposition as opposed to someone who is more reserved and closed.
Keeping one’s emotions in check is another way ensures that people are drawn to individual. Learning how to be more laid back and calm will give the impression of being happy and contented which translates to emotional maturity and security. When people don’t carry the “baggage” of insecurity they are able to relate better in any environment. Keeping some level of basic hygiene is also another likeable feature.
People who are untidy and smell bad can be very off putting. Simple things like clean clothes and fresh breath are a most desirable condition to keep. Cultivating the habit of always enquiring after the general well of others is another great quality to develop. It shows a caring and concerned attitude which is very pleasant indeed.
Complimenting people whenever possible is not only a good habit to develop; it also immediately creates a likeable and comfortable situation. Many friendships and other successful relationships have started on a friendly and complimenting remark. When engaging in a conversation, maintaining eye contact is good, as it not only ensures the speaker of the undivided attention of all around but also gives everyone a feeling of respect and attention.
Build your confidence
Dressing sharply has long been linked to building one’s self confidence. One does not necessary have to be a good looker, but with the right clothes and matching complimenting accessories any man or woman can look good. When an individual is aware that they look good, there is an almost immediate realization of confidence in both their out demeanor as well and from within. Sad but often true is the generally accepted thinking that looks do count and in a big way.
A person’s walk often denotes the confidence levels being experienced at any given time. A brisk and straight posture walk gives a definite impression of overall confidence. Both these positions and movements actually affect the body’s chemical make-up which transcends into the outward persona. One of the best ways to build self-confidence is by listening and being exposed to as motivational media tools as possible.
A lot of people now try to adopt the habit of listening to motivational talks during the commute to their work places or in their spare time or during exercise sessions. These motivational sessions often have bits of great advice and promptings which inspire the confidence needed to be successful in any endeavor. Thus in turn allowing the individual to grow their individual confidence levels.
Learning to be grateful for the current happenings and things in one’s life as also another source from which confidence can be built. This teaches an individual to be thankful and to learn to look at things from a brighter perspective. It also helps to build a positive mind set which in turn will allow for a more confident personality to emerge.
Another trait that would be beneficial is to practice the ability to learn to speak clearly and loudly. With constant and determined practice sessions the individual is able to slowly build the required confidence it takes to be vocal.
Know what kind of people you want to spend time with
The kind of people an individual mixes with on a regular basis will eventually dictate the kind of behavioral habits they adopt and practice. This will be evident almost always within a short period of time as people tend to conform to their peers. Therefore being careful about the choices made when it comes to building relationships with other people is actually choosing to be wise and prudent.
A lot to undesirable and even damaging traits are picked up from the people around an individual, socially and in the work environment. If an individual wants to get ahead in the work environment then it would be prudent to always be in the company of people who are in the position to recognize the potential of the individual and thus be able to put in a good word when the time is appropriate.
Socially though, it can call for a more focused and yet different technique. If the desire is to be socially relevant then mixing with people in the “know” is perhaps the best way to go. Sometime even name dropping can achieve the desired results and move the individual a notch higher is the rung to social success. However if the idea of choosing friends who are genuine is the prerequisite of any intended relationship then looking into one’s self is the very important first step to take.
Understanding one’s own individual needs and likes will allow for the connection made through friendship ties to bloom and blossom. Time is something that should not be wasted or taken for granted; therefore choosing carefully the kind of friends an individual would like in his or her life would also depend on the type of lifestyle and work of the said individual.
Strike up a conversation wherever you are
Being able to strike up a conversation need not necessarily is limited to people who are open and gregarious. Anyone can learn to interact in a friendly manner and with the adequate amount of practice using the appropriate tools. The simplest way of initiating a conversation is to first establish eye contact. Making eye contact allows the other party to acknowledge and accept the invitation to initiate friendly contact.
When this is done then both parties are establishing the interest and so a conversation can be started. Smiling also helps to open the door to a conversation starter. Most people respond well to the simple smile provided it is shown in a friendly and not in a weird manner. With a smile anyone can pick up a conversation as the friendly and open setting has been set.
Excerpted from the book The Befriender.
This excerpt has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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