Open and Closed adoptions offer different opportunities. Open adoptions are not for everyone. Learn about the options available and decide which situation is best. Once the adoption process starts, there are two ways it could go down. It will be either a closed adoption or an open adoption. Closed adoptions are the way adoptions were traditionally done. There is no contact between the prospective parents and the birth mother.
All information, the limited information, is given through the adoption agency. In an open adoption, both parties have an open line of communication. The birth mother actually picks the family she wants her child to go to and then spends time learning about the family. There are advantages and disadvantages to both scenarios. The prospective parents have to know how they are going to be most comfortable.
Parents might get the jitters of knowing the birth mother and have an issue with knowing who she is. Others want to know exactly where their child is coming from. The term open adoption might seem misleading. Just because it is open doesn't mean anyone is privy to the information regarding the adoption. Only the birth mother and the prospective parents are allowed to know details. An adoption agent will pair a mother and a potential family and exchange information about the parties.
If it progresses further, the two clients will meet and possibly exchange contact information. This way the two families can stay in touch with each other. Prospective parents need to be cautious in dealing with this type of adoption. While there have been loads of successful cases, there have been horror stories associated with open adoptions.
The birth mother uses this as a way to get extra money from the parents. More money than was initially agreed upon. Be cautious and vigil. The key to a good open adoption is having great communication. Ask as many questions as possible and don't be afraid to answer any questions. Being honest will go a long way in open adoptions. Another thing to consider in open adoptions is the future of your child. When the child learns that they were adopted, they might want to meet the birth mother.
In this case, it will be easier to find the birth mother. Some prospective parents might feel uncomfortable in this situation. The parents are desperate for a child; they don't want to do anything to scare away the birth mother. They fear saying or doing the wrong thing. They worry the birth mother will not like them. If this type of situation is too much too handle, closed adoptions might be a better fit for prospective parents.
Closed adoptions offer limited information about the parties. Historically, such limited information led to problems between the clients, but that is not the case anymore. Adoption agencies handle the situations with utmost care. The agencies are there to make both parties are happy with the least amount of complications. In this situation, it is usually left up to the adoptive parents to let the child know he or she was adopted.
It is also usually harder for an adopted child to find his birth mother, which could lead to problems down the line. There are many things to consider when deciding on either an open or closed adoption. Go through the list of options and decide what situation you are going to be most comfortable with to make the adoption process as painless as possible.
Deciding between open and closed adoptions
Adoptions come in different varieties, open and closed. Learn the differences between the two in deciding which one to pick. When you are adopting, one thing to think about is whether you want an open or closed adoption. Closed adoptions have been the norm for quite some time. It is the way adoptions have been traditionally done with the two parties involved not knowing anything about the other, not even names.
In this scenario, there were many secrets and no way to tell if any sort of information you got on the other party was true. This at times could lead to resentment between the parties and caused problems in the future if the two had ever met. Closed adoptions are still similar in the respect that no information is given on any parties, but they are handled with more care than history recalls. Open adoptions are very different.
The particulars of an open adoption are confidential except to the parties involved. Open adoptions give the birth mother an active role in decided where her child is going to end up. In this situation instead of an agency finding a match and telling parents there is a baby available without any other information, the birth mother selects candidates. After going through a list of potential parents, the birth mother will pick who she wants her baby to live with. This begins the process of an open adoption.
The two parties do not meet right away. They are gradually brought together. In the beginning, only first names are given. More information is given to both parties as the adoption progresses further and with each party's comfort level. In open adoptions, the parties often meet and can exchange contact information. This way the birth mother has a way of meeting the people her child is going to and the prospective parents know about the child from the mother.
In an open adoption, the mother can never claim ignorance that she didn't know what was going on. The terms of the adoption are spelled out for her right from the beginning giving an advantage to the prospective parents. Open adoptions can bring complications or joys depending on how an individual sees it. With open adoptions, there are ways to keep an open line of communication between the two parties once the baby is given to the adoptive parents.
The birth mother can stay in the loop on what is going on in the child's life. However, there are some adoptive parents who may not feel comfortable in this situation or even knowing anything about the birth mother. Some adoptive parents want to remain as anonymous as possible and not share more information than needed with the birth mother. These are people who definitely need to consider closed adoptions.
Excerpted from the book Adoption Made Easy by Wings Of Success.
This excerpt has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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