It would be most useful to have some kind of handbook that helps married couples get through their marriage journey without the bumps and scrapes it usually entails. However, it is rather popular to note that most people learn from either their own experiences, or from the experiences of others.

Relationship Basics

One of the main reasons for problems arising within the marriage relationship is the element of incompatibility. Once the initial excitement of the new relationship wears out, the couple soon finds themselves locked in a situation where they share nothing in common. This can be something positive if handled well, but it usually ends up bringing a lot of negativity into the equation and this eventually leads to the breakup of the marriage.

Basic Information

In order to be able to ensure the relationship has a better chance of survival; both parties should question their roles and perceptions linked to the relationship. You should discuss compatibility, understanding, cooperation, similar hobbies, types of interests, points of disagreements and joy and any other elements that would dictate the kind of participation either party will extend towards the relationship.

When it comes to the negative aspect within the relationship, both parties should be acutely aware of how these situations are tackled and the duration the negativity is present until there is some resolution in sight. There will also be a need to examine how these resolutions are sought and incorporated for the aim of getting the relationship back on track.

These questions are well worth exploring within the beginnings of the relationship as this is helpful in dictating the eventual course the relationship will take. It is also a good way to gauge the potential for pursuing this particular relationship and what the eventual goals expected are.

Schedule time together

In order for a relationship to work, both parties must be equally committed to the idea of making the relationship work as best as possible. This includes exploring ways to spend time with each other without the need to be forced into doing so.

Enjoy each other’s company

Making an effort to spend time together is very important if the couple intends to grow the relationship and to keep it happy and healthy for a long time to come. Without the effort to spend quality time together, the couple may find themselves eventually drifting apart and this may even lead to the eventual possibility of divorce.

It is especially important to make time for each other, especially if both parties live very active and hectic professional lives. When this happens, it becomes very easy to use work and other distractions as an excuse to not make time for each other. This or course is a very bad habit to have surface during a relationship. The following are some recommendations on how to create the ideal platform for spending quality time together to keep the relationship current and strong:

• Before the relationship actually gets to the present stage, both parties will have done things together that were enjoyable enough for them to consider taking the next step in establishing a relationship. Therefore, making the effort to continue to indulge in these same activities will be beneficial to the relationship.
• Finding new things to do together that both parties will enjoy is another good way to create the opportunity to spend some time together as a couple. These new activities should ideally be the kind that both parties will enjoy, however sometimes it may be necessary to indulge in something that only one of the partners really enjoy.

Use love letters and a date night

When it comes to keeping any relationship alive and exciting, there is usually the need to spice up things occasionally. This can be done through the use of love letters or perhaps going on date nights.

Simple ways to show you care

In the initial stages of the new relationship, these two activities are very much indulged in and even expected. However, sadly, as the relationship progresses to a more familiar phase, both parties may start taking each other for granted and one of the most popular ways of the perception becoming evident within the relationship is the lack of love letters and date nights.

Most people make the mistake of thinking that such indulgences are no longer needed or necessary, thus falling into the rather boring routine that will eventually lead to the relationship getting into troubled waters.

Couples who fail to continue these activates as the relationship progresses, risk being taken for granted, and when outside opportunities present themselves, there is always the possibility of being tempted to indulge in these temptations as they will find ways to justify such indulgences.

Therefore, in the quest to not only keep the relationship as exciting as first perceived, the couple should continue the exchange of love letters and date nights to also ensure there are no temptations to seek such activities elsewhere.

Being active in the activities will also allow the couple to look forward to these endearing times and also ensure both parties are constantly committed to putting their “best foot forward” at all times. This would include both the physical and mental aspects within the relationship.

Keep yourself in good shape physically and mentally

During the dating stages, everyone usually goes the extra mile to appear appealing and at their best. However sadly, this is not so when the couple become comfortable with each other and are already in the relationship for some time.

Experts on the subject strongly suggest not letting one’s physical appearance be neglected. This is also true when it comes to the mental growth of the individual in a committed relationship.

Show pride in yourself

People don’t seem to understand the importance of keeping up on both these fronts. Neither party will be interested in coming home to a relationship where there is no effort put into keeping each other excited and guessing. Boredom will usually be the result of such disinterest and this will eventually force both parties to seek excitement outside the existing relationship.

There is always the danger of the stay at home partner being the one that eventually allows the mental and physical appearance to go downhill. Some people just don’t seem to understand the impact made on each other when there is a total lack of interest in the general upkeep, both mentally and physically.

This is especially so when there are so many temptations outside the marriage perimeter, this often reminds the straying party of exactly what they are missing out on. This is often also one of the main reasons why there is infidelity and discord within a relationship that has been in existence for quite some time.

Busy schedules and commitments are often the excuses given for the lack of focus on keeping oneself in the best of conditions, both mentally and physically. If both parties don’t make a concerted effort to look good for each other, it certainly gives the impression of not valuing the relationship enough.

Excerpted from the book Marriage Saving Tips.

This excerpt has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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