What is the most common cause of unfulfilled goals, dreams, and ambitions?

Is it a chance? That you simply didn't have the right cards and thus couldn't do anything?

Is it talent or strategy? Could you have made it work if you had just been smarter and used the right technique?

I'd like to argue that the vast majority of our problems in life stem from a single issue: our actions don't match our intentions.

The Discrepancy Between Action and Intention

Consider the most recent goal you faced difficulties with, such as losing weight, acquiring a new language, or launching a business. Have you ever wondered why it was such a challenge?

At times, despite meticulously devising a plan and putting in the intended effort, things simply don't go as planned. While this can be disheartening, it's not usually the primary cause of failure.

More often than not, our endeavors falter and our goals remain unattained because there is a disparity between our intentions and our subsequent actions. For instance, you may have initiated a new exercise routine but gave it up after merely three weeks.

Perhaps you contemplated learning a new language and even downloaded some helpful applications, only to be derailed by the demands of life. Or maybe you've been aspiring to start a business but find yourself unsure of how to proceed, leading to a lack of progress.

Important note

I refer to this phenomenon as the action-intention gap, which signifies the distinction between our intended course of action and the actual outcome. It represents the disparity between a brilliant idea and its successful execution. This is where the majority of our struggles, failures, and frustrations originate.

How to Bridge the Disconnect between Your Actions and Intentions

It can be challenging to close the gap between what you intend to do and what you actually do, but there is a relatively simple process to achieve it. This process consists of three steps.

Step One: Gain Clarity on Your Intentions

One of the main reasons people experience a disconnect is that their intentions were not clearly defined from the beginning. If you are uncertain about what you truly want to accomplish, it becomes difficult to remain committed to it. Many aspirations fade away because they were merely fantasies, to begin with. If you wish to enhance your life and have a genuine chance at success, it is crucial to start by clearly understanding and defining your intentions, even if you still struggle with fully following through on your plans.

Have a look at these two situations.

"I'd like to learn French," for example, indicates a lack of clear intentions. "I'm going to buy this book and try to study for fifteen minutes every morning." = specific goals. The latter may not follow through, but the first person's goals are so vague that she can't possibly succeed.

Step Two: Get to Know Yourself

The next step is more difficult. Setting goals, intentions, or plans is not enough. You must first determine who will be acting on their behalf.

What are your strong points and weak points? Why did your previous goals fail? What obstacles will you face, and how will you overcome them?

If failing to have intentions is the first cause of failure, the second is expecting an idealized superhero to carry out your plans. That individual does not exist. There is only one of you. As a result, you should better align your intentions with the types of things you can actually do.

For example, you may begin a project with great enthusiasm but abandon it after a few weeks. Why don't you try to limit the amount of work you do each day to the bare minimum? Then, even if things get hectic, you won't drop the ball completely.

Step Three: Harmonize Your Objectives

The third step involves harmonizing your objectives. Your ultimate goal consists of two essential aspects. Firstly, your intentions should be capable of leading you towards your desired destination. Whether your aim is to establish a company, become proficient in a language, complete your college education, or shed weight, the plan you devise must possess a reasonable likelihood of success.

The second aspect entails structuring your intentions in a manner that allows you to effectively act upon them. Understanding yourself, as well as recognizing the factors within your life, personality, and habits that may hinder or support your intentions, can assist you in tailoring your project to suit your circumstances.

Alignment is an ongoing process that involves examining these two aspects and adapting based on feedback. As you engage in your endeavors, you assess the progress of your intentions and evaluate your level of commitment toward them. By making necessary adjustments, you strive to make continual progress.

Example (Aligning Intentions with Goals): You want to lose weight, so you're making it a habit to fill up your Fitbit exercise meter every day. But you've been trying for months and haven't seen any results. As a result, you change your intentions to something more effective, such as reducing portion sizes.

Example (Aligning Intentions with Action): You're attempting to reduce portion sizes, but you find yourself overeating frequently, particularly at restaurants. You change your strategy to eat half your meal and wait twenty minutes before eating the other half (if you're still hungry). You can now better execute your initial concept.

Make it a reality this year.

This is the first of a multi-part series I'm giving to kick off a new session of my Make it Happen!

This is all about closing the gap between your actions and your intentions.

How can you set goals that will get you where you want to go in life? Are they too frail? Unrealistic? Misguided? This will teach you how to create plans that actually work.

How can you ensure that your intentions are carried out? How can you deeply understand yourself in order to overcome your past struggles and failures? How do you design your life's systems so that success becomes automatic?

In conclusion

The most common cause of unfulfilled goals, dreams, and ambitions is the discrepancy between our intentions and our subsequent actions. This gap between what we intend to do and what we actually do often leads to struggles, failures, and frustrations. However, there are steps we can take to bridge this disconnect and make it easier to stick to our goals.

The first step is gaining clarity on our intentions. Clearly defining what we want to accomplish is crucial for maintaining commitment. Vague aspirations are more likely to fade away, so it's important to set specific goals that are actionable and measurable.

The second step is getting to know ourselves. We need to understand our strengths, weaknesses, and previous failures. By recognizing our limitations and aligning our intentions with what we are actually capable of, we can increase the likelihood of success. This self-awareness helps us set realistic expectations and adjust our plans accordingly.

The third step involves harmonizing our objectives. Our intentions should lead us toward our desired destination, and our plans should be structured in a way that allows us to effectively act upon them.

This requires ongoing evaluation and adaptation, as we assess our progress, and level of commitment, and make necessary adjustments along the way.

By following these steps and closing the gap between our actions and intentions, we can increase our chances of achieving our goals. It's important to set meaningful goals, understand ourselves, and align our intentions with our actions.

With persistence, self-reflection, and continuous improvement, we can make it easier to stick to our goals and turn our intentions into reality.