How do you deal with People who are constantly criticizing you?

 Clarify to yourself what your boundaries are before interacting with your People.

 Fill your People in on why you made certain decisions (when you feel comfortable doing so).

 When they criticize, share what you need from them instead.

 Thank them and move on.

How to Deal with Your People If They Are Overly-Critical?

 Set boundaries

Hard to believe though this may be, critical People may think that they are trying to help. But they may be making the situation worse or preventing you from making healthy, independent decisions.

Unhealthy patterns like this seldom stop until you set emotional boundaries, albeit tactfully. Tell them that you’ll let them know if you need their help. The situation may be more difficult if you are your Peoples’ caregiver because the overbearing ways may intensify. Try the BARB strategy:

• Behavior: Describe their unwanted behavior e.g. “Mum, please don’t give me advice unless I ask for it.”

• Affect: Tell your People how their behavior affects you.

• Request: Let them know that you’d prefer to get their advice if you ask for their advice.

• Benefits: Tell them how the change in their behavior will benefit them. Perhaps, “I’ll have a better relationship with you if you let me make my own decisions.” If this fails, seek the involvement of a third party, like a trusted uncle or aunt, who may be able to help you and your People reach compromises.

 Accept your People

Your People may be overbearing or verbally mean, but they may love you to bits. It’s just that cynicism is a way of life for them. Remember their positive qualities and that deep within, they do realize yours. Accept them for who they are.

 Stop comparing

Don’t compare your People with others. All that does is magnify your unhappiness. Understand that your Peoples may show their concern for you in other ways.

 Avoid your Peoples’ criticisms

Your overly-critical People probably comment on the same things whenever they meet you. Know what they will criticize you for and avoid stepping into the firing range. To understand the motivation behind your Peoples’ criticisms, first realize that there are different kinds of critical People. That is;

• Are your People controlling? If so, you may need to set boundaries with them.

• Are your People narcissistic? If they are, they’ll feel threatened by your independence or afraid that you will supersede them. Avoid talking about your achievements.

• Are your People overprotective? They may just be worried about you. Set boundaries and assure them that you can take care of yourself.

 Change Yourself

While your People may criticize too much, their words may be valid. If you realize this, work on yourself. That way, they’d have no reason to criticize you.

 Don’t seek your Peoples’ approval

Your People will seldom have anything nice to say, so don’t expect them to do so anymore. Remember that you are responsible for your actions, happiness, and life choices. Your survival doesn’t depend on their acceptance. Your approval of yourself is what matters.

 Don’t take your Peoples’ criticisms personally

You may be aware of your Peoples’ histories and the reasons for their critical behavior. If you are, you’d know that you aren’t the monster they’ve made you out to be.

Remember that their critical remarks are weightless, and don’t believe them. Critical People are a challenge, but one you can put up with them on your terms. Reflect on what these are and move forward with these tips.