Stages of Love Theory

Up to 1 year

♧ Touch stage:- At this stage the child is very comfort while touching the Mother, especially when sacking.

1 to 3 years

♧ Discovery stage:- At this stage, the child feels independent and does not want to be controlled; he/she wants to discover many things so he wants to prove that he knows exactly what he is doing.

4 to 7 years

♧ Confident stage:- At this stage the child is in school and wants to prepare her/himself in the morning for school, and leave on her own without being escorted. She wants to take a shower without any assistance and after school she wants to do homework, finish and show everyone in the house, all this she wants everyone to know she/he knows what she is doing, little assistance is needed at this stage.

8 to 11 years

♧ Confusion stage:- At this stage, the body has started changing and now the child does not want people to keep looking at her or him. If a girl the breasts have started showing; the boy the voice have changed, one gets confused of what is going on. Some girls begin their menstruation and they have mixed feelings.

12 years and upwards

♧ Grown stage:- There is a lot of changes here, different sex start getting attracted to one another. There is maturity seen in both action, behavior, and reasoning. They desire to have their own families; others desire to pursue further studies while others want to be independent in self-employment.

People here are settled and moving on with their families, age is catching up. Those who worked hard have made it, while others are looking for for counsellors stress level has gone up, Children have come and are unruly, work mates are not always having issues and things are becoming too much.

Self Reflection

I am happy to be learning psychology because I will be in a position to help handle cases with the acquired knowledge.

In the book of Timothy in the Bible, Paul an Apostle is advising Timothy on how to live a better life. Paul tells him, “The goal of this command is Love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience accompanied with a sincere faith”. What a counsel from an elder like Paul.

As we offer our services we must have a clear conscience and counsel the client with love, for love encompasses many things.

Desperation is what brings the client to a therapist; at this point love by itself is Therapeutic and I urge Psychologists to apply this theory to our clients and I am sure the effect will be greatly felt.

1 Sam. 23:16, Jonathan the son of Saul comes out to meet David to counsel him on how to protect himself towards Saul who wanted to kill him. Genuine love between David and Jonathan was evident when Jonathan counseled David and helped him to run away for his life. David on the other hand had a role to play, to run away or to stay. The love for one another saved a life. As psychologists expressing love can heal many clients.

Cognitive Theory

Miller: Theories of Cognitive Psychology, Piaget, who coined this theory comes out clearly in explaining how thinking, feeling, and knowledge takes place at different levels. One of the things I picked from it is the importance of social exposure. He outlines (pg. 82), “A child with a passion for aeroplanes is likely to learn a great deal about it”.

Yesterday I met a friend of mine who had gone to pick her daughter from school, the first thing she said to me was that her daughter wants to be a pilot so any time they pass through the airport, they spend some time as she admires it.
Such a character who is already exposed is easier for her to be a pilot than one who has no Idea so I support Piaget. The only thing he underestimated was the social activities, which he later revisited.

Conclusion

Love theory cools down most tempers in this field of counseling. Using the Ego for example as Freud uses it; it can be a disaster because this is a point of no return. As we embrace love we can restore many who otherwise would perish if they only live by their feelings.

Our approaches, therefore, in Psychology should be by themselves be therapeutic. As Freud left a mark in this field, we too need to leave a mark.