Introduction

This article gives some reflections on personal life; some of the major things the therapist seeks to highlight includes both biblical reflection on Counseling, borrowing on what other psychologists have said and finally, own life experience(s).

Psychology, at the end of the day, has everything to do with the daily life we live.

Some Reflections

♧ Glasser gives us details about our lives and goes ahead to explain that our lives depend on our choices and somehow I agree with him to some extent.

The Bible (Ruth 1:16), tells us a story about a Lady who was a Moabite, got married to a Jew, and after some time the husband passed and she was widowed without a Child. I can feel the pain this woman went through being left alone, with no husband and no child.

♧ When Naomi (in–law) planned to go back to her people, at some point, Ruth applied this theory of Reality, and chose to follow her. She vowed that where the mother will be buried, there, she will be buried too. Ruth made a choice in life never to leave the mother in law and because of that wise choice, today we read about her, and so when Glasser talks of choices, I can identify with him from that point of view.

♧ As human beings, we develop an inner “picture album” as Glasser puts it. Inside this Album, we find the basis of our lives put in, and out are all the outcomes of our choices. (Gen 1) God created human beings, and placed them in the Garden of Eden. He gave Adam instructions on how to live, what to eat and not to eat and then God left them to enjoy all what he had prepared for them. As they went on working in this farm, they noticed that some good fruits that God told them not to eat looked nice, they made a choice to disobey God, they suffered the consequences.

♧ Glaser (pg. 372-373) further went on and claimed that to speak of being depressed, having headaches, being angry, or being anxious implies passivity and lack of personal responsibility simply because all these are brought about by our choices.

This theory wants us to emprise our own behaviors. To some extent I do not support the fact that we choose our own misery, but again we can be dragged there.

♧ Jonah 1: The Bible tells me of this Missionary who was sent to the Land of Nineveh. (Vs. 3) But Jonah ran away from God and headed for Tarshis. He made a choice but he landed himself into a very big problem.

♧ This story is quite interesting because after he chose to hide and use his own means to go where he chose to go. He forgot what the Bible tells us that the eyes of God are all over, watching over evil and good. Hence, you cannot hide from God. God followed him even in the ship. The Bible further records that when they threw him, God had earlier prepared a fish to transport him to Nineveh. This taught me that you cannot run away from God. The big lesson for me from this theory is to take time before making a move. Some of the mistakes we make are simply because we are in a hurry; again and again we do not take time to think deeply about our actions.

Love

What is Love?

Wikipedia, explains Love as encompassing a variety of different emotional and mental statuses, typically strongly and positively. It is the selfless attitude that can help us to go to higher levels. This is one of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit as we read in (Gal 5:22). With Love in our hearts, we move in the positive direction of life.

Why Love?

(I Cori: 13) talks about Love and goes deeper to explain the importance of it, this is an all-round area. Love for humanity goes deeper, when you value others and take them to be even better than yourself; life becomes stress-free.

♧ Love helps us to see people the way Jesus sees them, value them, and understand them even in their weaknesses. God has a purpose for us all, and not ignorant of the shot comings in our lives but with love these short comings become a blessing instead of issues that widen the gap.

♧ Miller, ( 2011,2002) Freud takes us through his five steps, , Oral, Stage ,Anal Stage , Phallic Stage, Latency Stage and finally the Genital stage. Although he is referred to as the father of Psychology, some of the things discussed here were unbelievable. In that, he surmised that children are only but young adults with all the senses that a mature person has only that they have not matured yet. However, this does not mean they don’t function.

♧ This theory has broadened my thinking and helped me to understand why a child enjoys sucking, all because the Id wants immediate satisfaction in accordance with the pleasure principle.

Critic: Freud’s Theory is great and comprehensive but the phallic stage is questionable; it’s difficult to imagine of a normal scenario where a boy of age six falling in love with the mother, this to me is far from the truth. And yet you realize that these things are done unconsciously. If this is not well managed such a character may grow up only to hate women or can end up being dysfunctional and in need of Love theory to be applied on him so that he can again have Self-esteem which he may have lost in the process. The idea of wanting to eliminate their father to take away the wife, this itself tells you how far true love is from the two characters. This then prompted me to think of genuine love as the title for my theory.

♧ My focus, therefore, is that inner feeling of looking at the other person as being of greater value than oneself, wanting the other person to have when yourself you have nothing, looking at the other person and seeing him successful.

♧ When Freud talks about children becoming hostile in anal stages they are being introduced to the use of toilets. I can identify with that, this is a stage where the children feel that they are big enough and they do not want to be directed. Again we go back to my theory where its important to note that this is not the time to be harsh to this child but if you show him love and explain to him the importance of the toilet, the rest will flow.

♧ No wonder Jesus talks of love as being the greatest of all; If you can only extend Love to even a neighbor who has been so cruel to you, believe me or not, you can easily win him or her to Christ.

This I say without any reservation.