DENIAL

Denial is the part of our disease that tells us we don't have a disease. When we are in denial, we are unable to see the reality of our addiction. We minimize its effect. We blame others, citing the too-high expectations of families, friends, and employers. We compare ourselves with other addicts whose addiction seems "worse" than our own. We may blame one particular drug. If we have been abstinent from drugs for some time, we might compare the current manifestation of our addiction with our drug use, rationalizing that nothing we do today could possibly be as bad as that was!

One of the easiest ways to tell that we are in denial is when we find ourselves giving plausible but untrue reasons for our behavior.

Denial is a shorthand term for a wide repertoire of psychological defenses and maneuvers that chemically dependent people unwittingly set up to protect themselves from the realization that they are chemically dependent. These maneuvers all of which distorts reality can appear in many forms. The following are some of the most common.

Simple Denial: Also known as Stone walling, where one is hindering the discussion with evasive or cunning answers. Maintaining that something is not so, which in fact is so. Maintaining that chemical dependency is not a problem despite obvious evidence that it is a problem and is so perceived by others. The chemically dependent person’s dishonesty is a form of denial. He or she frequently does not tell the truth, but is not aware of this.

Minimizing: Admitting to some degree of a problem with chemical usage, but in a way that it appears much less serious or significant than is actually the case. Underrating, belittling the true extent of the problem.

Blaming: This is also called projection. Denying responsibility for certain behavior and maintaining that the responsibility lies with someone or something else. The behavior is not denied, but its course is placed “out there”, not within the person. Finding faults with other people and situations for the problem.

Rationalizing: Offering alibis, excuses, justifications and other explanations for behavior. These essentially serve to provide a reason other than chemical dependency to explain behavior related to chemical usage. Again the behavior is not denied, but an inaccurate explanation of its course is given. Justifying by persuasive but insincere reasoning.

Intellectualizing: Avoiding emotional, personal awareness of the problem of chemical dependency by dealing with it on a level of generalization, intellectual analysis or theorizing.

Diversion: Also known as Distracting where one keeps changing the subject whenever the subject content is threatening, such as personal chemical usage and the related behavior. Diverting attention from the real problems and ensuring the subject is abandoned.

Hostility: Also known as attacking where one is criticizing adversely someone else or situation for your problem; becoming angry and irritable when reference is made to personal usage and the related behaviors. This is a good way to avoid the issues, as it serves to back people off. If you are angry with someone, when he or she talks about a certain topic, that person is going to change the subject or avoid bringing it up to you again.

Denial is Automatic

Denial in its various forms is not usually a matter of deliberate lying or willful deception. It is a serious mechanism, which operates unconsciously. In most instances the chemically dependent persons do not know what is true or false concerning their chemical usage and it’s harmful consequences, and that they are, in fact, blinded to the fact that their view of the situation does not conform to reality. The denial system distorts their perception and impairs their judgement so that they become self-deluded, incapable of accurate self-awareness.

SELF DIAGNOSIS ACTIVITY – DENIAL

What do you think and say to yourself about your using alcohol and other drugs? Check off any of the statements you have made to others or thought to yourself.

PART A

1). __ I don’t have a problem.

2). __ I can handle it.

3). __ I’m not hooked – I can quit any time I want.

4). __ Leave me alone – it’s my business.

5). __ I’m not hurting anyone but myself.

6). __ So what?

7). (Other)____

PART B

1). __ Sure I drink (smoke, snort, etc.) but it’s not a problem.

2). __ It was just a little dent in the car. At least I didn’t hit anyone.

3). __ It’s no big deal.

4). __ At least I didn’t behave as badly as ____

5). __ I made it home all right. Everything must have been okay.

6). __ It will be all right if I just apologize and cool it for a while.

7). (Other)__

PART C

1). __ It is not the booze (coke, pills, …etc.) it’s the stress (coffee, cigarettes, allergies, medication, etc.)

2). __ It wasn’t my fault – it was (____’s) fault for getting me drunk

3). __ I need it because of my bad back (nerve, children, etc.)

4). __ My wife (husband, mum, kid, etc.) drive me to it.

5). __ I would have been alright if I hadn’t mixed drinks (drank on an empty stomach, been sold coke cut with speed.

6). (Other)_____

PART D

1). __ I’m self-medicating. It helps me relax (cope with pain, digest, etc.)

2). __ It’s been a day that would drive anyone to drink.

3). __ I got carried away because I was so happy (sad, mad, upset, nervous, etc.)

4). __ Everyone makes mistakes once in while.

5). __ I’ll just have one drink (shot, etc.) to steady my nerves.

6). __ (Other) ___

PART E

1). __ A night cap will help me sleep if I get a good night sleep, I won’t feel such a strong need to drink tomorrow.

2). __ I need the hair of the dog that bit me.

3). __ It’s hot (cold, rainy, nice, etc.) lets have one.

4). __ I’m already loaded. One more won’t make the difference.

5). __ I’ll quit tomorrow.

6). __ (Other) ____

PART F

1). __ Alcohol and drugs aren’t the cause of my problems. They’re just a symptom of my crazy life.

2). __ I don’t know why I have this strange pain (when you know it’s probably an ulcer or liver damage caused by alcohol...)

3). __ We need more fibber in our diet (when you know your diarrhea and or constipation are caused by drinking)

4). __ My allergies are awful today. (When you have the coke sniffles…)

5). __ You’d drink too if you had only life. Let me tell you about…

6). __ (Other) ___

PART G

1). __ You’ve got a lot of nerve talking about my drinking.

2). __ Get off my back.

3). __ As soon as I unwind a little you’re breathing down my neck.

4). __ You’re just like my mother-nag, nag, and nag.

5). __ I’ll stop doping (drinking, smoking, etc.) when you stop throwing money away. (Get a job; stop crying all the time, stop cheating on me, etc.).

6). __ Why don’t you clean up this dump instead of counting my drinks.

7). __ Oh yeah? And who wrecked the car (ran over his own dog, set the matters on fire, etc.)

8). (Other) _____

Reservations

Reservations are places in one’s recovery program that he/she has reserved for relapse. They may be built around the idea that he/she can retain a small measure of control, something like, "Okay, I accept that I can't control my using, but I can still sell drugs, can't I?" Or he/she may think he/she can remain friends with the people he/she used with or bought drugs from.

They may think that certain parts of the recovery program don't apply to them. They may think there's something they just can't face clean - for instance, the death of a loved one - and plan to use if it ever happens. They may think that after they've accomplished some goal, made a certain amount of money, or been clean for a certain number of years, then they'll be able to control their using. Reservations are usually tucked away in the back of their minds; they are not fully conscious of them. It is essential that they expose any reservations they may have and cancel them, right there and right that instant.

Conclusion

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effects produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the truth from the false. To them the alcoholic life seems the only normal one.

All alcoholics have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon has been suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment by which is familiar with, permanently eradicated. The only relief I have to suggest is entire abstinence.