This is one of the more difficult Steps of the 12 Steps of AA, because it is the culmination of everything that has come before. This is where you let go of those behaviors and attitudes that are holding you back.

The reason that this step is so difficult is because often, those behaviors and attitudes that are being let go have been the only ways to cope that you have ever known. Sometimes, it means relearning a whole new way to interact with the world.

This Step is not about perfection – it is about getting better. Throughout the course of your recovery, you will find yourself repeating the Sixth Step several times.

On one of the figures at the top of the next page, write your main defects of character, the ones that have caused you and other people the biggest problems. Pick out at least five. First look back at your inventories and summary sheets to review your main character defects. Remember that step six says you must be ready to have God remove them.

Entirely Ready For What?

If we're new in NA and this is our first experience with the Sixth Step, many of our character defects will be so blatant that our immediate reaction will likely be one of overwhelming willingness to get rid of them. We're seeing them for the first time, in all their glory, so to speak, and we want them gone - today!

We probably have at least some measure of fear or uncertainty about changing. The fear of unknown is terrifying for almost everyone. We've had the defects we're about to let go of for a long time, probably most of our lives. We probably have some fears about what our lives will be like without these defects and wonder if the removal of our defects will inhibit our ability to earn a living. We may find that our fears are probably vague and unformed if we pursue them to their logical conclusion,

To Have God Remove...

Only a Power greater than we can remove our defects of character. However, the extent to which most of us grasp what that actually means is directly influenced by how much experience we have with the up-and-down, on again off-again struggle and surrender associated with Step Six. The first thing most of us do about our character defects is decide not to have them at all.

Unfortunately, this is futile - about as effective as attempting to control our using. We may have some apparent success for a time, but our defects will eventually resurface. The problem is that our defects are part of us. We will always be subject to reverting to our worst character defects in stressful situations.

How am I trying to remove or control my character defects? What have my attempts resulted in?

Our Defects of Character

We're probably wondering where, precisely our character defects end and our character assets begins within the complex structure of our personality. Why do we do the things we do? If we're not careful, we can become so self-obsessed that we lose sight of why we're working a Sixth Step. We need to focus our efforts. Our goal is to raise our awareness of our character defects so that we can become entirely ready to have them removed, not to analyze their origin or indulge in a bout of self-absorption.

Character Defects

Dishonesty, inconsiderateness, selfishness, fear, anger, resentment, pride, self-pity, greed, lust, sloth, envy, cheating, manipulation, lying, shame, suspicious, blaming, hostility, hatred, revenge, possessiveness, recklessness, lazy, nagging, self-centeredness etc.

Character Strengths (Assets)

Honesty, considerateness, unselfishness, courageous, realistic, obedient, humility, love, forgiveness, creative, listening, integrity, justice, gratefulness, willingness, patient, commitment, perseverance, faithfulness, tolerance, hope, compassionate, sharing, peacefulness, serenity, happiness etc.

HANGING ON TO CHARACTER DEFECTS

• The alcoholics don’t always want to give up their defects.

• Sometimes it’s easier to sit in today’s pain than take a chance on something different. You know what pain is like and you’ve learned to deal with it, but you don’t know what the future will be like without that pain.

• Another reason it may be hard to give up defects is that some character defects are fun. They may cause other people trouble and lead to restlessness and discontent for alcoholics or addicts but they are fun and you are unwilling to go of them.

• Some people worry that if a Higher Power removes their defects, they won’t have any personality left at all. What really happens is that character strengths rush in to take their places. But some people don’t understand or believe that this will happen, so some alcoholics and other addicts cling to the defects they’ve come to know.

• allergic to peace and,

• hostility as their security

REPLACING CHARACTER DEFECTS WITH CHARACTER STRENGTHS

Reasons why some alcoholics and addicts want to hang on to their character defects: their fear and that they will end up with a hole “in their personalities. Willingness has been emphasized as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all—every single one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.

This simply won’t happen, character defects will be replaced by character strengths. This means that where the defects used to be, you’ll find love, compassion, the will of a Higher Power, peace, serenity and happiness.