Having made personal inventory, what shall you do about it?

You have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with your Creator, and to discover the obstacles in your path. You have admitted certain defects; you have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; you have put your finger on the weak items in your personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on your part, which, when completed, will mean that you have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of your defects. This brings you to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding article.

This is perhaps difficult—especially discussing your defects with another person. You think you have done well enough in admitting these things to yourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, you usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many thought it necessary to go much further. You will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when you see good reasons why you should do so.

The best reason first: If you skip this vital step, you may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. The reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense it’s necessary, until they told someone else all their life story.

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it. The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees. Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him. As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension—that makes for more drinking.

It’s the admission we make to God, to ourselves and to another human being that brings about the spiritual growth connected with this step. Some people may be afraid that their sponsors would reject or judge them or probably do not want to bother their sponsors. One requires courage and a sense of trust in the process of recovery as they help work through more specific fears and go through with the admissions we need to make in this step.

FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON

• List every person you think might be a possibility for the job of listening to your story.

• Look over your list.

• Put a circle around the names of the people you think are trustworthy.

• Put a checkmark by the names of the people you think would be willing and available to listen to you.

• Put a star by the names of people who share or would understand, either by their own experience or on a professional level your experience as an alcoholic or other addict.

• Put another star by the names of the people who are familiar with 12-steps of AA/NA.

• Put a line through the names of anyone who would be hurt by or might judge you for anything you would be saying.

Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available. If that is so, this step may be postponed, only however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity.

This is because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person. It is important that he be able to keep a confidence; that he fully understand and approve what we are driving at; that he will not try to change our plan. But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone. When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. We explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it. He should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and death errands. Most people approached in this way will be glad to help; they will be honored by our confidence. We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past.

When we admit the exact nature of our wrongs to God of our understanding, our admission becomes more meaningful.

We can have everyone from our sponsors, spouse, employer, parents, siblings telling us what we are doing which is working against us, but until we admit to our own innermost selves the exact nature of our wrongs, we are not likely to have the willingness or ability to choose another way.

The “another human being” should have the ability to be supportive without minimizing our responsibility to someone who can provide a steadying influence if we began to feel overwhelmed during our 5th step in summary someone with compassion, integrity and insight. The fifth step helps us to develop honest relationships and give opportunity to try such relationships in a safe context.

We should be focusing our attention on what behind the patterns of our addiction and the reasons we acted out in the ways we did. This happens when we share our inventories. Getting a sponsor, working the steps, finding a home group and going to its meetings; demonstrates that we are committed to our recovery in a practical meaningful way.

Positive/benefits that come with working this step include:-

a) Sense of self-acceptance, accepting ourselves without reservation.

b) You can look the world in the eye.

c) You can get the job you always dreamed of.

d) You can walk hand in hand with spirit of the universe.

e) You can be alone at perfect peace and ease.

f) You can find relief from your 4th step inventory.

g) You can begin to feel the nearness of the creator.

h) You can feel your fears fall away.

By completing the first five step, alcoholics/addicts are building an arch through which they will walk as a free man/woman. They are no longer alone, there’s a helpful listener (recovery sponsor) and a Higher Power.

The rocks that made up the roadblocks in your Fourth Step inventory have become the building blocks to a new way of living. The addict is now ready to continue with the journey of recovery and growth. Along with a sense of relief, our weariness with our character defects has probably reached a peak. This will translate easily into a state of being entirely ready to work step six.

Spiritual Principles

In the Fifth Step, we will focus on trust, courage, self-honesty, and commitment.

Practicing the spiritual principle of trust is essential if we are to get through the Fifth Step. We will probably have some experience with our sponsor that allows us to trust him or her enough to go ahead with this step; but what about the more profound issues that arise when we wonder if working this step will really do any good? We have to trust a process as well as another person. The connection between the Fifth Step and our spiritual development isn't always clear to us. This doesn't mean that the connection is any less real, but it may make it harder for us to trust the process.

Courage is one principle we'll have to practice just to get started on this step. We'll probably need to continue drawing on our courage periodically throughout our work on this step. When we replace the phone on its hook just as we are about to call our sponsor for an appointment to make our admissions, we're feeling fear and we need to practice courage.

When we're sharing our inventory and we see a paragraph that we just can't tell anyone about, we need to face that moment of fear with courage and go ahead with sharing all of our inventory. When we've just shared something excruciatingly painful, and our feelings of vulnerability are so overwhelming that we want to shut down before we hear what our sponsor has to say, we're at a defining moment in our recovery and we need to choose the courageous path. Doing so will influence the future course of our lives. Each time we feel fear, we remind ourselves that giving in to it has rarely had anything but negative consequences in our lives, and doing so this time won't be any different. Such a reminder should be sufficient to motivate us to gather our courage.

Practicing the principle of self-honesty is essential when we admit to ourselves the exact nature of our wrongs. Just as we mustn't disassociate ourselves from our emotions simply because we're afraid of our listener's response, so we can't afford to shut down our own reactions. We must allow ourselves to experience the natural and human reaction to the subject under discussion: our lives as addicts. Our lives have been sad. We've missed out on a lot because of our addiction. We've hurt people we loved because of our addiction. These realizations are painful. However, if we pay close attention, we'll probably recognize another feeling that's beginning to form in the wake of the pain: hope. We've finally stopped using over our feelings, running away from our feelings, and shutting down because of our feelings; now, for the first time, we have a chance to walk through our feelings, even the painful ones, with courage. Doing so will, in the long run, make us feel better about ourselves. This is one of the paradoxes that we often find in recovery. What begins in pain ends in joy and serenity.

The principle of commitment is demonstrated by the action we take in this step. Many of us have made so-called "commitments" in our lives, commitments to which we had no intention of sticking to in tough times; our "commitments" were made solely for the sake of convenience. With each step we've taken in the program of NA, we've deepened our real, practical commitment to the program. Getting a sponsor, working the steps, finding a home group and going to its meetings - each one of these actions demonstrates that we're committed to our recovery in a practical, meaningful way.