The first two Steps were about reflection – but the Third Step of the 12 Steps of AA is about Action. Your Higher Power does not have to be a deity. It can also be:

• The recovery process itself

• Medical and mental health professionals

• The innate strength of human nature

• Your support system

• The fellowship you receive from other addicts/alcoholics

The exact nature of your Higher Power is personal – it only has to be something outside of and greater than yourself in which you can place your faith. There are four parts to “turning your will over” –

• Asking for help -and not just at the beginning of the First Step. Surrender your ego and be willing to ask for help anytime you feel overwhelmed during your recovery.

• Learning to pray -which simply means having a conversation with who or what is helping you – sharing your thoughts, asking questions, and expressing gratitude.

• Learning to meditate -which means taking the time every day to reflect on the things that happen to you, what you learned, and what you might like to do differently? Processing your experiences and emotions can help you learn to change for the better.

• Practicing acceptance which means finding a way to meet life on life’s terms, rather than trying futility to control things that are beyond you. When you concentrate on those things that you CAN control, you are better able to focus on doing what needs to be done to recover.

Self-Will

Step Three is critical because we've acted on self-will for so long, abusing our right to make choices and decisions. So what exactly is self-will?

Sometimes it's total withdrawal and isolation. We end up living a very lonely and self-absorbed existence. Sometimes self-will causes us to act to the exclusion of any considerations other than what we want. We ignore the needs and feelings of others. We barrel through, stampeding over anyone who questions our right to do whatever we want. We become tornadoes, whipping through the lives of family, friends, and even strangers, totally unconscious of the path of destruction we have left behind. If circumstances aren't to our liking, we try to change them by any means necessary to achieve our aims. We try to get our way at all costs. We are so busy aggressively pursuing our impulses that we completely lose touch with our conscience and with a Higher Power.

Until one is convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success, he/she will be like an actor who wants to run the whole show.

Selfishness/self-centeredness is at the root of an addicts problems. These are driven by hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity. In the process, he/she steps on the toes of others and they retaliate. When they retaliate they hurt them seemingly without provocation.

One needs to get rid of this self, lest it kills him/her. One must quit playing Higher Power and let the higher power be the Director. Surrendering our self-will doesn't mean we can't pursue goals or try to make changes in our lives and the world. It doesn't mean we have to passively accept injustices to ourselves or to people for whom we're responsible. We need to differentiate between destructive self-will and constructive action.

If we are new in the program and just beginning to work Step Three, we will probably end up wondering what God's will is for us, thinking that the step asks us to find this out. Actually, we don't formally focus our attention on seeking knowledge of our Higher Power's will for us until the Eleventh Step, but we do begin the process that will lead us to that point in Step Three.

God's will for us is something we will gradually come to know as we work the steps. At this point we can come to some very simple conclusions about our Higher Power's will for us that will serve us well for the time being. It is our Higher Power's will for us to stay clean. It is our Higher Power's will for us to do things that will help us stay clean, such as going to meetings and talking to our sponsor regularly

Making a Decision

Many of us may find themselves unnerved by the thought of making a big decision. We may feel intimidated or overwhelmed. We may fear the results or the implied commitment. We may think it's a once-and-for-all action and fear that we won't do it right or have the opportunity to do it over again.

However, the decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of the God of our understanding is one we can make over and over again daily if need be. In fact, we're likely to find that we must make this decision regularly, or risk losing our recovery because of complacency. It is essential that we involve our hearts and spirits in this decision.

Though the word "decision" sounds like something that takes place mostly in the mind, we need to do the work necessary to go beyond an intellectual understanding and internalize this choice. We need to realize that making a decision without following it up with action is meaningless. If one is seriously an addict, there is no middle of the road solution. One is at a position where life is becoming impossible and pass into the region from which there is no return through human aid; one has but only two alternatives;

One: Abstinence/pursue self-will/Higher Power’s/ God’s will/seek spiritual help

Two: Continue to use/drink/pursue self-will/going on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as one can.

The God of Our Understanding

It is suggested that we choose an understanding of our Higher Power that is loving and caring and greater than ourselves.

These simple guidelines can encompass as many understandings of God as there are NA/AA members. They don't exclude anyone. If we understand the word "God" to mean the Power of the program, these guidelines fit. If we understand the word "God" to mean the spiritual principles of the program, these guidelines fit. If we understand the word "God" to mean a personal power or being with which we can communicate, these guidelines fit. It is essential that we begin exploring and developing our understanding. Our sponsor can help immeasurably in this process.

Turning It over

The order in which we prepare to surrender our will and our lives to the care of the God of our understanding is significant. Many of us have found that we actually follow the order in the third step: First, we turn over our will; then, gradually, we turn over our lives. It seems that it's easier for us to grasp the destructive nature of our self-will and see that it must be surrendered; consequently, it's usually the first to go. Harder for us to grasp is the need to turn over our lives and the process of that surrender.

For us to be comfortable with allowing our Higher Power to care for our lives, we will have to develop some trust. We may have no trouble turning over our addiction, but want to remain in control of the rest of our lives. We may trust our Higher Power to care for our work lives, but not our relationships. We may trust our Higher Power to care for our partners but not our children. We may trust our Higher Power with our safety, but not our finances. Many of us have trouble letting go completely. We think we trust our Higher Power with certain areas of our lives, but immediately take back control the first time we get scared or things aren't going the way we think they should. It's necessary for us to examine our progress in turning it over.

To turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power, we must take some kind of action. Many of us find that it works best for us to make some formal declaration on a regular basis. We may want to use the following quote from our Basic Text: "Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live." This seems to capture the essence of Step Three for many of us.

However, we can certainly feel free to find our own words, or to find a more informal way of taking action. Many of us believe that every day we abstain from using, or take suggestions from our sponsor; we are taking practical action on our decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of our Higher Power.

Step Three Prayer

God/Higher Power, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!’’ Amen!

Spiritual Principles

Keeping the principle of surrender to the care of the God of our understanding alive in our spirits is essential, even when things are going well. We usually feel most willing immediately following surrender. Willingness often comes in the wake of despair or a struggle for control. We can practice the principle of willingness before it becomes necessary and possibly save ourselves some pain.

The principle of commitment is the culmination of the spiritual process of Step Three. Making the decision to "turn it over," over and over again, even when our decision doesn't seem to be having any positive effect, is what this step is all about. We can practice the spiritual principle of commitment by reaffirming our decision on a regular basis and by continuing to take action that gives our decision substance and meaning-for instance, working the rest of the steps