In this chapter, we look at some of the reasons why a man would want to commit. This will give you an insight into how men think and reason when it comes to commitment. You can use these tips to get your perfect man commit to you.

• Why do some women get commitments from men while others don’t?
• What can you do to get your perfect man to commit to your forever?

As a woman, it is possible to get a man to commit to you. At the same time, you may be doing things that push a man away.

If he is sure that he won’t lose his independence

Men don’t like the idea of losing their independence. They still want to be able to have their own loess even after they get married. Independence doesn’t imply that he is free to date other people though. It simply means that he will get to enjoy his life and not live it like someone serving a time in jail.

He will want to be able to still hang out with his friends. He would like to be able to do his own things like watch a game without his wife hovering around him. When you are dating him, you need to prove to him that he will have his independent even when you are married. Let him have his space when you are dating. Don’t nag him or follow him around.

Don’t be too possessive and try to spend every second of the day with him. In addition, encourage him to pursue his dreams. In the meantime, you should also have your life. Do your own things and hang out with your friends from time to time. You can get a man to propose to you if you can prove to him that you will let him live his own life and not try to run his life just because you are married.

Honesty

Men want to commit to women who are honest. There is nothing that men abhor more than a woman who is dishonest. You have to ensure that you don’t hide things from him. For instance, if you used to be married before, don’t let him find out after you are married. You should also never use deceit to try and get him to commit. For instance, getting pregnant in order to get a commitment is just a stupid move that can cause some resentment from your man.

If you try to deceive a man to commit to you, you may end up alone and miserable. You should also never lie to him especially if he needs your opinion on something. For instance, if he wants to open a business and you don’t think this is a good idea, you should politely tell him so. Lying and approving just to make him happy will not work out for you. He will feel betrayed especially if he discovers your deceit.

They don’t feel caged

A man will actually commit if at all the woman allows him to make this decision without pushing him. He may have thought about marrying you but as soon as you start pushing him, then this will work against you. You can hint or start asking him to make a commitment. You should also try not making any ultimatums since this a great way to push him away. Take the time to get to know him without pressuring him to make a commitment.

Things that may push away your perfect man

In this Chapter, we look at some of the things that may push away your perfect man. Finding him is one thing, keeping him is quite another thing.

• How can you keep him interested in you?
• What can you do to avoid pushing him away?
• What are the things that nice guys dislike in women?

Some women never have a problem with meeting great guys. Their main issue is getting the guy interested and holding this interest. Some very trivial things may rob you off a chance to spend the rest of your life with the perfect man.

Why will he leave?

Trying to rush things. When you meet the perfect man, you may immediately start thinking about what you can do to ensure that you have him forever. It’s common to picture yourself with this man, living in a nice house and even have kids. You may already see yourself in that white dress on your wedding day. It’s okay to dream and want all these things. However, keep them to yourself! If you start telling a guy about how much you want to get married soon, you will scare them away very easily.

If you have just been dating a few months, starting up random topics about marriage is a turn off. Don’t also try to be smart by dropping cute hints without really saying it. Don’t pretend that you have accidentally switched to a program about new moms and kids. You should also stop telling him about all your friends who have gotten married or are having kids. Trying to get a guy to meet your parents too soon is also pushing him.

Don’t even try to get them on the phone to say hi to your mum. These are scary tendencies that most men hate. It makes them panic because they think that they have lost all the power over their futures. They may also start feeling that they are working on some deadline. This makes them focus on the things that they wanted to do before settling down.

Nagging

Men really hate being nagged. Some women start nagging their men and complain to them too much. No man wants to be constantly told what he needs to be doing. Men also hate being followed around by women seeking attention. You need to have your own life and stop bugging him. Scorning a man or comparing to other men to make him feel inadequate will push him away. You need to learn how to make him feel appreciated. Constantly nagging a man can easily push him away from you.

Silent Treatment

Most women like to adopt this strategy to express their anger or hurt. Even if you have just a man or have dated him for a while avoid this habit. If he said that he would call you then he fails to, ask him about it, and don’t give him the silent treatment. Some women tend to carry this on in the hope that the man will realize where he went wrong and make amends.

If a man is late for the date, sulking and keeping quite will ruin your date and at the same time put him off especially if he had a good reason for the lateness. Shrugging your shoulders, being cold and saying “nothing” when he asks you what’s wrong is simply annoying. If you are angry or hurt, express yourself with words. Don’t expect him to read your mind. The silent treatment is a bad habit that pushes men away.

Being too possessive

Just because he is with you, doesn’t mean that you own him. You can’t start trying to control how he lives his life. Asking him about every woman he says hi to is just being too much. Trying to control his communication and how he interacts will push him away.

If you meet his friends, even if you think they are immature, don’t go telling him this. You should also avoid trying to spend every single minute of every day with this guy. You can’t follow him around and sulk when he starts looking for some time apart. Try and have your friends and activities that you can do. Also give him the space to enjoy his own independence.

Looking down on a man

You may be more educated or earning a netter salary than him but this doesn’t mean that you have to boast about this. Don’t make him feel like he is inadequate. You should also avoid comparing him with other men. Learn to respect your man and show him that you appreciate and value him and the role that he plays in your life. Trying to push him to get a new job or change his life to meet your requirements will only push him away.

Trying to change him

Maybe the man you meet may not have everything that you need in a man. They may also have some traits that you don’t like. Trying to change this man to who you want him to be may bring about feelings of resentment. Don’t try to change his dressing or how he does things. Don’t go over to his house and start rearranging this and adding stuff that he hasn’t even shown interest in. Trying to change a man will only push him away

Excerpted from the book Getting Your Guy.

This excerpt has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Download this book on Boostlane:

https://boostlane.com/p/boostlane/1091/getting-your-guy/